The Fertile Myrtle Pizza Parlor

Friday nights are date night.  Hubby and I go out and just have a fun date and enjoy each other's company.  I look forward to it all dang week long.  A couple of months ago, we hit up a pizza joint we really like.  It's a pizza and beer kind of place. So imagine our surprise when we found ourselves surrounded by little crazy children running around like they were ready to round up all the infertiles and put us on the pyre.  Well, that's how I saw it, but I tend to over react to such things.  Until Mr. Right said, "Is it me or is this place swarming with kids all the sudden?" I thought I was nuts.  When our pregnant waitress showed up, I was all set.

But this Friday, I was really craving pizza.  So I told Mr. Right, ya know what, we went kind of early last time.  Maybe if we go later in the evening there won't be so many kids around.  So that's what we did.  We walked in and it was grown-up-ville.  We breathed a sigh of relief.  The hostess took us back to a table, and there was a family with two small children next to us, but that doesn't bother me.  I just don't want to be at Chuck-e Cheese on date night, ya know?

So we sit down and the first thing I hear is "egg retrieval."  WTF?  So I turn my head and a very pregnant woman is loudly talking about her IVF experience.  At first I thought "SISTER!" but then I thought, "Dude, it's date night.  I don't wanna hear this right now."  Throughout our whole dinner, this chick was showing her friend pictures of her embies, talking about her progesterone level, her protocol, every visit to her RE ever. I'd like to say that I was excited to be privy to her success story, but in all reality, wanted to poke myself in the eye with a chicken wing. 

Then the table with the family got up to leave.  The very pregnant women picked up her 10 month old baby while yelling at the three year old to put down the crayons.  REALLY?!?!?  How do you even accomplish such a feat?  People can pop out babies in a row like that?  In real life?  Then the table across from us got up to leave - the woman at THAT table was pregnant.  All the while I'm listening to my IF sister talk about her time in the stirrups.  LOUDLY!  It was like the theme music to a ridiculous evening.

We got in the car and it went like this:

"Alright, we're not going back there again." 
He laughed and said "Well, why not?" 
"BECAUSE IT'S INFERTILITY HELL!"
"Maybe next time they'll perform an actual procedure on the table next to us.  OR maybe there's a secret in the pizza and we need to eat there more.  Think of it this way... at least it gives you something to blog about."

Damned right!