Foto Friday

 

I am participating in EmHart's September Photo Challenge! I figured I'd save up my pics and post them on Fridays.  Here's week one.

Beginning: Here's everyone's favorite beginning, birth control pills! Little bastards that they are. 

 

Beginning

Fire:  A couple of years ago, my now husband sent me the photo labeled "Fire-Exhibit A" while I was in the middle of a rehearsal. It showed up on my little Blackberry, that had a 3in screen, with the title "It's really bad here, babe." I was pretty sure our house was burning down. Three families lost their brand new homes that night. They have not rebuilt. My fire photo shows what's left of their houses today and the building of new homes still going on around the empty lot.    

Fire-Exhibit A

Fire - the real photo.

White: One of my favorite things about my dog is the white splotch on her snout. I think it's where the angels bitch slapped her on the way down.  Oh come on!  I love my dog, but she was most certainly not kissed by any angel!

White

School:  I have quite the collection of old textbooks.  do I reference them ever?  No!  They are too friggin old!  So on my shelf they sit.

School

Pure:  In all honesty, I took this a billion (Okay, maybe 8) years ago.  So not only is it a lovely photo of the purity of water, it's full of pure honesty about my cheating soul.


Pure

Book:  This is a page from my favorite book "To Kill A Mockingbird."  Interestingly, when I opened it up, it came to a page where Dill and Scout were arguing about where babies came from.  Dill thinks you can order one and then row a boat over to a foggy island to pick them up.  Scout says that God drops  them down the chimney.  Then Dill remembers that "You get babies from each other."  Although he also thinks that there is a man who "has all these babies just waitin' to wake up."  Me too, Dill.  I have all of these babies just waitin' to wake up.

Book

 Golden:  Yay white wine!  And that's all there is to say about that!


Golden








IVF School and Photo Catch Up

IVF Class was today.  Holy moly.  We're still feeling very overwhelmed.  It was a little odd being with other couples.  I mean, they were nice people and all, and I get the thought behind it, but it's hard not sit and wonder which of us will get pregnant, and which won't.  Aside from that, my clinic is awesome and they are all so kind and invested.  They talk like this is going to work.  They say things like, "when you get your positive test."  It's just nice to be around such positivity. 

Since we are who we are, and I can't feel settled until all the ducks are in a row, things are still up in the air.  We aren't sure on a start date, and since I have an out of town conference coming up, that's a problem.  It's the one friggin' time a year that I go out of town for work.  ONE TIME!  We're hoping we'll be able to start next Saturday to avoid all that business.  Also, my doctor didn't put a Folistim dose on my instruction sheet or anywhere in my chart before he left the country for two weeks, so we can't get started on my med order.  I have to get my meds through my insurance company's pharmacy, and it usually takes a week from order to meds in hand.  AND I have to get my most recent pap results from my Gyno.  I'm a couple of months overdue, but I've never had an issue, so hopefully it's fine, but of course I'm anxious about that.  I don't want to have to try to get another one in the next week or so.  The last one will be under my maiden name, which just makes it more complicated.  Oh, and apparently they've decided I'm at a high risk of OHSS so I'm doing a Lupron trigger.  All the sudden, I'm just scared.  It's a lot of shots, a lot of hormones, a lot of everything, and I'm pissed that we have to do any of it.

So here's some damned pictures!  I'm still super behind so I'll give them to you in small doses.  I'm missing one in this batch, but I will catch up before the month is finished!!!  I WILL!!!

Morning

Build

Button.  This is my computer screen.  When I push that green button, I make a kid hear.  It's the best button ever.

Green

Numbers

Eat! Glow! Design!

Temp is still up, but I'm still not testing until Friday, people!  I'm not a frequent stick peer.  My philosophy is to only be sad once.  If I test tomorrow and it's negative, I'll just be sad and then tell myself that Friday will be more accurate. I'll test again, and then I'll be sad twice.  Okay, I'm lying.  J is making me wait until Friday because he doesn't want me to be sad twice.  He called it a "man mandate."  I kept a straight face while he said it and everything.

On to the photos!

Eat!

This is a crummy phone photo.  I took when I was eating my usual Monday meal.  Panera, a Diet Coke, and my Nook.  Sad to learn that I can't blog on my nook. :(  I eat at Panera on Monday's because my office is almost an hour from my house and I have rehearsal 15 minutes from my office.  So I hit up Panera and then go sing.  It's this little microcosm of my very diverse town.  While I was eating, I was listening to five, yes FIVE languages swirling around me.  And I live in the SOUTH people!!  I love it and was so surprised to find such diversity here.

This is glowy, right?

Glow!

 This is a tree in the park where we walk the dog.  We always stop to look at it.  I love how the bark is so many different colors.

Design!

Just A Little Ditty, and Other Stuff

I've written a song.  Here it goes.  (clears throat) mimimimimi!  Okay, I'm ready.  Please sing to the tune of "The Song That Never Ends"

The two week wait, it never ends
"Six days 'til test," says FertilityFriend
We had an IUI last week, our third and final one
The turkey's basted, oven's prepped, just waiting for our bun
The two week wait, in never ends... (repeat ad nauseum)

There are weird things happening to my chart.  Yesterday I was pretty psyched because I thought it might be an implantation dip.  Today, it looks more like the fat lady is warming up to sing on this one.  That would give me a crappy LP and I've never had a crappy LP.  I marked this as ovulating on IUI day because my temp gets all wonky after the HCG shot, but even if I ovulated early, still a crappy LP for me.

Not giving up hope, but trying to be realistic.  If it pops back up tomorrow, I will pee myself.

BUT I did get good news.  My AMH posted today and it was 5.8 ng/ML!!!!  YAY!  So there are plenty of egglets, my body is just being a bitch about giving them up for some reason.

Now, on to photo challenge shots!  I'm behind!

First we have "Heal"  This is a picture of my otoscope.  Not very artsy, but it works!

The next day was "Soft."  This is a photo of some weedy things near my house that billow in the wind. While it looks soft, it isn't.  It's awfully scratchy.  And I'm pretty sure snakes live in it.

 

Yesterday's assignment was love.  Before our wedding, we used to like to sneak upstairs to the place where we kept all the wedding stuff and try our rings on.  I liked catching J when he was doing it.  I don't know if it's the symbolism, or the finality of it, but I just LOVE seeing that ring on his finger.  That and I think he has nice hands. :)

And today's assignment is "living."  Spring has sprung here in the south!  We're watching winter give up and life hopping back.

Photo Challenge Catch Up

There is so much going on in the blog world right now and of course I have brilliant insight (HA!), but taking photos is way more fun for me right now. I'll get back to talking about my empty uterus another day.  Just bare with me!

Commute:

This is an overpass on our way to work (I carpool with J).  I don't know how it's been kept up but for YEARS kids have gone up there and moved cups around to spell out messages.  Usually it's a profession of love or a prom date proposal.  It's always surprisingly PG.  Today, in the aftermath of a UNC/Duke game, it spelled out UNC in front of a lovely Carolina Blue sky.

Challenge:


Scout challenges anyone who dares ring our doorbell.  Seriously.  She turns into psycho dog.

Purple:

The beautiful orchids I got for Valentine's Day.  They're still alive!  Hooray!

I can't tell you how awesome this photo challenge is during this 2WW.  I'm so thankful to Belle and her creativeness!

Photo Challenge: Illuminate

It's been a long weekend and I'm extra tired.  All I can do right now is watch zombies on TV.  Here's today's photo prompt... Illuminate.

Domesticated

I really struggled with today's photo assignment.  I'm not a very "domestic" person and sometimes I feel like I should be better at that.  I mean, if I can't make my husband a baby, shouldn't I at least make him a pie?

Me:  So, my photo assignment today is 'domestic.'  Got any ideas for me?
J: Yeah.  Take a picture of you making me a damn pie, woman!
Me: Ummmm no.
J: Why not!?  Your readers will think it's funny and I get a pie.  Everyone wins.

He obviously wasn't very helpful.  So I thought I'd hit up my mom.

Mom:  You could find a maid to take a photo of.
Me: Really mom?
Mom: (laughs).  What about Scout?  She's domesticated.
Me:  I took a picture of her foot for yesterday's picture.  I have to go to the grocery store.  I was thinking I could do something there.  Like a row of soup cans or something.
Mom:  Oh, that's a good idea.
Me: I'd have to take it on my phone, though.  I don't want to whip out my good camera in Target.
Mom: Why not?  Who cares what other people think.  Bring the good one!  Take a good photo!
Me:  Look who's talking!
Mom:  What's that supposed to mean?
Me: You wouldn't even take your phone out to take a picture you'd be so worried about what other people were thinking!
Mom: (laughing) You really shouldn't talk to your mother that way!

So today's assignment became less about the photo and more about not worrying about what others thought about me whipping out an SLR in Target.

Me, Feet, and My Ute

How do these things all go together, you may ask?

Well, the first two are related to my participation in Belle's March Photo Challenge.  I'm really excited about this.  I used to to photography all the time and I got kind of burnt out on it.  It's one of those hobbies you shouldn't tell people about because the next thing you know, you're taking pictures of every random event under the sun for people... for no monies.  So yesterday was a self-portrait.  Since I'm anonymous, all you get is my eye.

 Today's assignment was feet.  I HATE feet.  I don't like to look at them, I don't like to touch them, I don't want them on me.  Eww.  They give me the heebie jeebies in ways I can't describe.  So I decided that I would take a photo using the one set of feet I can stand... my dog's!  When she was a puppy, she had one pink pad on this foot.  It was so cute.  You can still see a little bit of pink on it, but it's pretty much black at this point.

This is so fun!  Thanks, Belle, for putting this together!

IUI was this morning.  Everything went fine.  MUCH better than last time.  After J did his thing we went and had a nice breakfast together.  He was in such a good mood and it was contagious.  We had a great time in spite of our circumstances.  Dr. Ultrasound did the deed this time and he offered to let J "pull the trigger" on the syringe.  He declined, but I thought it was really sweet.  I don't know if we've been around the clinic so much now that the staff feels familiar with us or if they're starting some new initiative, but everyone kept wishing us luck.  It felt good.  I liked it.  I'm bringing hope back. :)

They've Found Us!



Maybe the one on the right contains a Korean fertility secret!

I was cleaning the bathroom like a good little wife when I heard the doorbell ring.  Mr. Right answered it and I figured he was at the door for awhile because the dog was going buck wild.  He comes upstairs and looks bewildered.  He is carrying religious tracts... in Korean.  Apparently, there was an evangelist type at the door from the local Korean church.  Now, we don't live in a huge Korean community or anything, so the fact that this man turned up at our door with religious tracts IN KOREAN freaks me out a bit. I mean, is he hitting up all the households with Korean last names?  Did my in-laws send him?

*Sigh* We have no idea what this says.

Apparently he was very kind (I've yet to meet a Korean who isn't) and Mr. Right had a nice conversation with him... in Korean.  What was curious was that he saw Mr. Right's ring and said "Oh, I see that you're married.  On page blah blah blah is some great advice on child rearing."  I think that was the part where hubby should have said "My wife is a white, barren, Catholic heathen" but apparently he didn't think of that.

Oh, and Mr. Right does not read Korean.  He told the gentleman that, but he still left us with the tracts.

Christmas Cards

As the forever single girl, I never sent out Christmas cards.  It just seemed weird.  I contemplated sending one of my dog one year.  I figured it was a step up from a gaggle of cats, but I decided against it.  Since I didn't send out cards, the amount of cards I received quickly dwindled.  So this year, I'm super excited to send out married Christmas cards for the first time!

Even though people are probably sick of us, we're going to use our wedding photo because we can.  And come on - that's what we did this year.  If I have to read about Sally's 83rd dance recital, you can look at me in my fantastic dress.  Anywho, when you are using a wedding photo the text on the card gets kind of hairy. 

Since we met and married in our mid 30s, "Joyful and Triumphant" seemed pretty fantastic to me.  "Unto us a child is born" would be way inappropriate.  "Naughty and Nice" would be rather descriptive since "Naughty" would fall under Mr. Right and "Nice" would be under me. 

My favorite, however, is for sure the thought of looking at a photo of Mr. Right and me in all of our white garb of purity above the words "Oh Holy Night."

Mr. Right would rather do something like this:

I married an adolescent, I swear.  Good thing he's cute!

Got any fun ideas?  Ever notice how glaringly white the people are on the cards on the Shutterfly site?  And where can I get these things for less than one arm and half a leg?

The White Girl

When Mr. Right and I started dating, his mom was less than keen on the possibility of him settling down with a white chick.  In fact, she dubbed me "The White Girl."

Traditional Asian parents tend to like the idea of their kids ending up with other Asians.  This really bothered me at first.  I saw it as a small minded, biggoted thought, but it's really not.  It goes back to the whole legacy thing I was talking about the other day.  When I got to know MIL Right better, she grew to like me (I mean come one, what's not to like), but then the problem wasn't that I was white - it was that I was Catholic.  I couldn't win!  Over time, our relationship helped me figure it out.

It wasn't the color of my skin or shape of my eyes, it was the culture I practiced.  She needed to know that her culture would be passed down to her grandchildren and that my Catholic self wasn't going to deny her that legacy.  I would never dream of keeping that from my children and ever since she learned that, we've gotten along swimmingly.

That brings us to the infertility issue.  She doesn't know.  My mom knows every excruciating detail,  but when MIL Right says "Why you no have baby?!"  All we say is, "We'll let you know when it happens.  Promise."  Mostly it's because of the language gap.  I mean, it's not like reproductive terminology is part of Mr. Right's Korean vocabulary.  He says that her knowing would be more stressful because she would worry a lot since she wouldn't totally understand what's going on.  I understand and respect that.  The thing is, I wonder how it looks culturally that we aren't popping out grandkids.  Could the White Girl end up bringing some shame to the family?  I worry about that.

Why don't you just adopt?

I'll admit it.  I was one of those people.  I thought that if you couldn't get pregnant, you should just adopt.  If there's one thing I've learned loud and clear from this process, it's that you can't guess what your reactions will be at any particular stage of the game.

When someone says "you should just adopt," they are implying that you are not fit to procreate and you should just stop.  They are saying that adoption is some sort of consolation prize rather than the amazing thing it is on its own.  They are saying that because you badly want something that came so easily to them, you are somehow selfish.  Usually in life, we celebrate those that struggle to reach a milestone.  Why isn't the same true for starting a family?

When we started this process, my Type A self felt like we needed to prepare for all possible worst case scenarios.  That meant browsing the smorgasbord of reproductive options.  When I brought up the possibility of adoption, Mr. Right was not gung ho.  He wants to be sure we exhaust all possibilities for biological children and take some time before we decide to think about adoption.  I had a hard time understanding this at first, but now that we're looking our first medicated cycle in the eye, I get it. 

It's nice to think that having a baby is all about doing your part to make the world a better place, but it really isn't.  I mean, how well equipped are any of us to be able to form a small person into someone who can change the world?  When it comes down to it - procreating IS a little bit selfish.  Having children is about establishing your legacy... what you leave behind when you meet your maker so to speak.  It would be nice to say that our careers establish our legacy and having a family is just what we are all meant to do, but when you have a child, there is for real and for true a piece of you to stick around on earth for as long as it keeps spinning.  This is a basic psychological need and one that we are all entitled too.  To imply that it is the job of all infertile people to save the world's orphans is dumping a giant moral burden on the shoulders of grieving people.  People who have a right to grieve their loss of what they thought they would leave behind.  That's a burden to be shared with ALL people, regardless of the state of their reproductive organs.  Caring for our fellow humans, especially the littlest ones, is just human responsibility.  I don't believe it is God's wish for infertiles.  But no one would look at a pregnant woman and say "Why didn't you adopt?"

If the time comes when we decide to end our reproductive travels, we will take the time to mourn the loss of the family we thought we would have.  We will mourn the adorable little half Asian baby we have pictured in our minds.  Some day, we may decide that we want to adopt, but that will be a decision we come to apart from our infertility.  I think all families who choose to adopt feel a calling to do so.  They certainly don't feel like they are moving on to their consolation prize.

Being Appreciative

I dated a lot in my day.  And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT!  I was the queen of online dating.  A walking match.com ad.  I can't even tell you how many men I met and fretted over.  Do they like me?  How do I make them like me?  Do I care if this one likes me? Will he call?  Why didn't he call?  Will I ever meet the right guy?  Being lonely sucks!  When I would complain about being lonely, my married friends would chime in and tell me that marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be.  They would complain about their husbands being unavailable, or too available.  They complained about toothpaste in sinks and clothes left on the floor.  As if those sorts of problems would make my date nights with Ben and Jerry much less sad and much more triumphant.  I never understood what my married friends were trying to do and I still don't.  I'm glad to see dishes in the sink and not the dishwasher.  The fact that there are little crappies left on every flat surface of this house is just another reminder that there is someone in my house that I am happily sharing my life with.  Don't get me wrong, there are little habits that annoy the crap out of me, but it certainly isn't worth being all too bothered over.  The pros for sure outweigh the cons.  I guess working so hard to find Mr. Right helps me appreciate him more.

I am confident that I will have the same appreciation for my child.  I know that it will never be an easy road, but this child is so severely wanted that we will always appreciate the gift of a child.

Today I heard a father complain about his deaf child's speech being embarrassing to him.  He said he could have better conversations with his dog and that the speech therapy he'd paid for was not turning out to be a good investment.  My heart broke for this beautiful, snugly, smart, charming little munchkin.  I can't imagine how you wouldn't be so thankful for a beautiful gift.  They chose to adopt her knowing of her hearing loss and yet they call her an embarrassment.  I fail to even remotely comprehend that.

"It's Not Fair!"

I remember a kid I used to work with who always said "It's not fair!"  Her teacher, a dear friend of mine, used to try to teach her what it really meant for something to be fair or not fair.  I was thinking of her today when I actually told my mom, at the ripe old age of 33, "It's not fair!"

I dated a LOT before I met Mr. Right and it sucked.  I hated dating.  I hated being single. As long as my single friends are hoping to find a mate, I will do my best not to be condescending to them because good Lord was that not fun.  But when I finally met the right guy, it was the right time in my life.  We had careers, stable employment, home(s), and a dog.  We were happy and ready.  We started trying before the wedding, just in case it didn't go too smoothly, but it seemed like all of our friends were getting pregnant really easily - even in their 30s.  That's what I think isn't fair.  We did all the right things.   Mr. Right and I will make great parents.  I know it, dang it!  And I see all of these people with too many kids, who are unemployed, who are next to divorce, popping out kids like freakin' pez dispensers!  Why isn't it easy for us?  It's not fair, I tell you!

My mom told me to get over it.  It is what it is.  I know she's right, but I want to wallow in my "It's not fair" for a minute.

At least she told me she was proud of me for being brave.  It might not be fair, but at least I'm being brave.

Can Kimchi Make Me Pregnant?

I've been craving Korean, something I never even thought about eating until I met Mr. Right.  Good thing I married a guy from a tradition that has great food!  Once we actually have a child, he or she will be well fed between our two heritages, that's for sure. At any rate, while we were eating our yummy Korean dinner, I had a crazy thought.  Maybe, just maybe, Mr. Right's swimmers consider my uterus to be a hostile environment because I don't eat enough Kimchi.  Yes, infertility has fried my brain.

But I ate up anyway and at least now I have clear sinuses if nothing else.

Things I'm Learning

This process is teaching me a lot.  It's not an easy or fun way to learn, but it is teaching me things that I hope are making me better at my job.  When I sit in the waiting room with a lump in my throat, I realize that my patients must be feeling much the same way.  It's petrifying to put your life and trust into a total stranger's hands.  When my doctor does the "Choose your Own Adventure" method, I want to punch him in the nose, but then I remember that I do the same thing to my patients!  And I really only give them options that would be okay for them to choose from.  But I'm sure the families I work with want to punch me in the nose too.

Maybe I should invest in a face mask.

Mostly I'm learning that having an intense medical issue to deal with is incredibly stressful.  On my end as a medical provider, it's just another day of work.  I'm learning that I need to step back and remember that they are stressed, worried, and navigating a whole myriad of medical care, financial strain, and uncertainties for a child's future.  It can't just be another day of work for me.  I have to be in their moment, not mine.

Choose Your Own Adventure!

We met with the RE again today.  This visit was for an ultrasound and to look at all the test results and make a plan.  I like plans.  I'm Type A.

Ultrasound was with... um... different instrumentation than I'm used to.  It was also Mr. Right's first time in a room involving stirrups.  He was as giddy with excitement.  Anywho, the ultrasound didn't show anything.  He tried to see if he could make me wince - he was successful. 

All of our tests have come back normal so far.   Is it bad that I wish we had an actual identified problem with an actual identified treatment? 

About 10 years ago, I was told I probably had endometriosis.  The only way to really diagnose it was surgery, and since I wasn't planning on a baby at that time and birth control pills could handle the symptoms, I was put on the pill and stayed that way.  Now, the thought is that I probably have endometriosis and it's affecting my fertility. 

So he gave us options.  Infertility is apparently of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" variety.  We could have the diagnostic surgery or just go to drugs.  My first thought was, "Why the heck would I want to pump myself up with drugs and release more eggs if we don't know that things in the southern hemisphere are status quo?"  Well, turns out that even if they do identify endo, the treatment options wouldn't be much different in the end.  If there were able to remove some of the endo, there is no guarantee that it would help with fertility.  And it's a bigger surgery than I thought.  A whole freakin' week out of work.  That does not sound like a good time.   So the other option was to do a test to make sure everything is structurally clear (an HSG - which I'm none too excited about, but one day of pain sounds better than 6) and then do injectable medications.  Not sure why we're skipping oral meds and going straight to shots, but that's what was presented to us.  We decided to go for option B - the HSG and drugs.  Mr. Right will have to shoot me in the ass on a regular basis. 

On to figuring out how it will all get paid for.  Hmmmm.

I Just Screened A Phone Call From My Best Friend

When I told my BFF that we were going to start fertility testing and treatment, she was surprisingly un-supportive.  She actually said "Oh my God!  You are over reacting.  It's just going to take time.  It takes a lot of people a long time."  Mind you - she got knocked up with both of her kids right after she got off the pill.  I haven't talked to her since.  I tried to explain my feelings, but she just kept playing it down.  I just don't know what to say to her since this is such a major part of my life right now and I don't want my feelings to be marginalized.  So she called,  I saw it was her, and I didn't answer.  I checked the message.  She called to tell me that someone we went to college with is pregnant with her 5th kid.

Swell.

I can't even log into Facebook anymore because I can't handle the barrage of pregnancy announcements and sonogram profile pictures.  Now my BFF can deliver the same anguish,  live and unsolicited.

Swell.

The First Visit to the RE

When we were getting ready to go to the RE for the first time, I googled and googled and googled "what to expect at the first appointment."  I'm the kind of person who likes, no NEEDS, to be prepared for all situations.  I picture all the worst case scenarios and try to come up with a "just in case" plan.  I know - not the healthiest way to be, but right now, that's who I am.  Anywho, all I could find were things like "you'll fill out paperwork, bring your charts, you'll talk..." duh!  I wanted to know what I would feel.  What might he say?  Will they do tests right then?  Should I schedule it for a certain cycle day?  No one could tell me... so I'm putting it in my own darned blog.

I wasn't sure if they would want to do tests or anything, so I just scheduled it on a day Mr. Right and I could both go.  That was fine.  I was in the middle of my cycle so they scheduled testing from there.  I didn't have to wait until a new cycle started or anything.

The day before the appointment, I felt like I had something stuck in my throat.  You know that feeling you get when you're trying not to cry?  Just like that.  I couldn't decide if I was coming down with something or if it was nerves.  I'm thinking it was nerves since I didn't get sick and it went away after the appointment.  Big dork right here.  We got there and checked in, the people at the check in counter were very friendly, but since I'm in the south it would be weird if they weren't.  There was another couple there... we didn't make eye contact.  It's a "What are you in for" kind of feeling.

We didn't wait long at all and they came back and took my vitals.  My pulse and BP were high and I usually have low BP so I'm pretty sure my emotions had literally gotten the best of me.  They took Mr. Right and I in another room and told us the doc would be in.  We didn't wait long at all.  We were sitting at a table, not like an exam room or anything.  He took histories from both of us and looked my charts.  It was funny because I use fertilityfriend and chart every little symptom, every time we have sex (which says "BD" for Baby Dance on the chart - the most ludicrous euphemism ever), I put it all on there.  He didn't even care where the software called ovulation.  He said "These things are always so damned complicated.  Show me where your first positive ovulation predictor kit result was.  I just need that and your temps."  I liked that.  To the point.  He was friendly enough, but to the point and didn't molly-coddle.  I need that.

From there, he had a suspicion of what the problem might be and told us what we'd need to do.  Progesterone on CD 21, a bunch of blood tests stuff on CD 3, tests for Mr. Right, and then we'd get back together and decide what to do from there.  There was no talk of treatment, just figuring out what was up.  I thought that was good.  I'd be worried if they started throwing IVF at us on day one.

So the tests are done, we're waiting for the rest of the results, and then we meet again.  That was it!  It was nothing to get my blood pressure up over.

Oh!  Except for the part where we were on our way out through the lobby and I recognized someone.  I saw the look of horror on her face and I pretended that I didn't see her.  She did the same.  I have yet to understand the shame attached to infertility, but maybe that will be part of this journey as well.

Mr. Right is SO alright!

When we had our first SA things didn't go so well... let's just say a do over was necessary.  The do over has been done and the results are in.  My man is a serious stud.  He has an all clear on the fertility front.  I'm so relieved.  I didn't want this to be a "male factor" issue.  I know Mr. Right and I don't want him to carry that around.  So we are happy as pigs in slop tonight.  It's been a good day!

Onward and upward!