Oh For Pete's Sake!

I switched over to Feedly and became a moron.  I would check it on my phone, and couldn't for the life of me figure out why I wasn't getting new posts.  I would click on "all" and it would always be the same posts.  Turns out that "all" is still sorted by topics and it was just that blogs in my "adoption" folder hadn't been updating.  So, I apologize for my lack of commenting - I still have no idea what's going on in your lives.  I will catch up right after I post this nonsense.

Let me begin the nonsense by saying that I do understand how completely blessed we are.  Our little Hapa seems to be doing great.  She always measures right on the dot.  Her heart rate is perfect, and she has all of her parts in the appropriate location and number.  My immune system, on the other hand, sucks at being pregnant.  

Since I hit the second trimester, I have had two UTIs, a colposcopy because of the sudden appearance of high risk HPV, and my asthma has flared up (it had been so long since I'd had an asthma issue that I didn't even have an active inhaler prescription anymore).  Today I was sure I was going in with no issues.  I was happily sitting on the table, telling the OB I had just met that I was feeling so great.  Then, just before she left I remembered that I needed to show her the sore that I had gotten from my sports bra.  That silly over-protective husband of mine wanted me to bring it up. Well, silly over-protective husband is wiser than I thought.  It wasn't a sore.  I FUCKING HAVE SHINGLES!  

Apparently this is rare in pregnancy.  Lucky me.  I have two areas of blister "chunks" and she could see more forming.  I'm on Valtrex so hopefully that will keep new ones from forming.  Chipmunk is fine and it shouldn't affect her at all.  I'm in some pain, but it's tolerable right now - except for a bra.  They are right where my bra strap hits (which it why I thought it was chub rub from my bra and not FUCKING SHINGLES).  I'm going to try to figure out how I can get by without wearing one because I just can't handle it.  I can work, I just can't see the little bitties who haven't been vaccinated yet.

The OB was playfully teasing me about all the random crap that has snuck up on me during pregnancy.  I said, "Well what other dormant viruses can I have pop back up?"  She said, "Shhh!  Don't say that out loud!" Truth is it does scare me.  I had a REALLY bad case of mono in high school.  Epstein Barr would not be a fun thing to see rear it's ugly head right now.

Like I said, I'm all too well aware of the horrible things that could be going on.  I know that we are so super lucky to have a healthy baby thriving and that anything that has happened to me has been benign as far as she's concerned.  But it's like I told J, "Why couldn't I be one of those people who had a happy-go-lucky pregnancy?"  His reply? "Because people who have happy-go-lucky pregnancies don't walk the kind of roads we walk."

Ah, my wise, over-protective husband.  I'm incredibly lucky to have him too.

Pregnancy Behaviors in the Male of the Human Species

There are anecdotal accounts in the literature of peculiar actions male humans exhibit when their female partners are in the process of gestation.  This case study presents an account of a male human whose partner is expecting a child following infertility and advanced reproductive techniques (ART).

Following confirmation of the pregnancy, the male partner's behaviors were not altered from the typical behaviors exhibited during the stimulation phase of treatment.  He continued to encourage his partner to eat nutritious food, drink plenty of water, and exercise when health allowed.  Following the Level II ultrasound, his habits began to change quite dramatically.

The first level of behavior observed involved mirroring of the symptoms in the female partner.  These may have been sympathetic responses, although most seemed to benefit the male rather than the female of the pair.  For example, the male partner craved chocolate milk and ice cream despite having a significant lactose intolerance.  He felt the need to indulge in these cravings despite the olfactory discomfort it brought his partner.  He also stopped using running as a form of cardiovascular exercise, instead choosing the accompany his wife on walks, citing fatigue as a confounding factor.  His midsection is now growing along with his wife's.  The male partner has also started itching, an ailment not noted prior to the pregnancy.

The second level of behavior was clearly protective.  The following have been noted:

• Changing the wife's sleeping position in the middle of the night, without her consent, in case she is uncomfortable.
• Using his hand as a human seat belt, even in unnecessary situations.
• Following behind her on the stairs at every opportunity.
• Insisting on pushing an empty shopping cart.
• Actually cleaning the bathroom.
• Bringing a night stick on evening walks in case there was a stray dog in the neighborhood.  When the wife noted that the water she carries would likely suffice should such a situation arise, he insisted on bringing the night stick "in case the dog is not a vampire."
• Changing dinner plans because he deemed the menu to be "different" than the wife's typical fare and hence a possible (if not imaginary) threat to the child.
• Refusing sex on the grounds of invading the child's space.  When reminded that the fetus was closed off in the uterus, he stated he saw the birth canal as a "demilitarized zone" and hence and inappropriate spot for his... member.

Since this is likely the only child for the couple and conception was an emotional, expensive, and difficult endeavor, it is the opinion of this author that the behaviors noted above are heightened from that of a typically fertile couple.  Patterns involving same sex couples should be examined in future studies.