Everyone says that FETs are a piece of cake.
"Everyone" is stupid.
I HATE taking estrogen. It makes me depressed and headachey. I suck at remembering to take pills three times a day. I'm having a real time with watching what goes in my mouth too. But thankfully, I have this community. I can wake up and see posts from my cycle buddies Ali and Shelley and remember the posts from Belle on "THE SAD". You all help me know that what I'm feeling is not out of the ordinary and that it will pass.
It's been a long week. I've been feeling very "I don't give a crap" about everything. Getting out of bed is hard and functioning at work is even harder. Although, being kind of "blah" about everything is helping me let go of some things at the office. I've had the attitude where certain things that have been long term uphill battles are really beyond my control and not worth stressing about. I'm trying to spin it. It's working a little.
I also haven't done any of my photo's for EmHart's challenge over the last week and a half. Just like everything else, I haven't really felt like it. I sure do like looking at all y'all's photos, though!
J and I have had a lot of talks about Plan B (Or is is C or D? I lose track of where we are.). I'm the kind of person who needs to think now about what we would do if this cycle didn't work. We had always agreed to 3 fresh cycles. When we started this journey, we said 3 IUIs and 3 IVFs, not thinking we would ever get near those numbers. There are times when I am really ready to be done now, but part of the reason we decided to switch docs when we did was so that we could have a new set of eyes setting us up for our final fresh cycle if need be. I feel like if we didn't give that last cycle a chance with new clinic we would regret it. We all know the importance of regret management. So if this doesn't work, we'll do one more. But then what if there are frosties...? J would like to set a date to be done and I can't do that. If we end up with frosties I feel like we need to give them a chance. At the same time, I want my life and my body back. I'm ready to bitch-slap it back into shape.
God I hate this game.
September 19, 2012
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Blah is right. I felt the worst I ever had with our FET...I hated taking estrace. It was not good at all. Thinking of you and sending so many vibes that this is the one that works!
ReplyDeleteThanks, girl! Glad to know I'm not alone!
DeleteFETs are easy in some ways and harder in others. Easy regarding not needing to be as regimented with the drugs, but hard because there's not the excitement (so to speak). I can completely relate to the FET blues (for me it was always the Lupron or BCPs, but I get the Estrogen having that effect too).
ReplyDeleteI think discussing a Plan B is always a wise decision, even if Plan B stays the same. Though there is no right answer, I firmly believe that each couple should be on the same page when going into these procedures.
Thinking of you and your cycle buddies during this time. May there be good news all around!!
Thankfully, we've always been pretty goo about being on the same page... with TTC at least. With chores is another story.
DeleteI am sorry that the estrogen and going through the FET is not being nice to you! I always found that having another plan helped me and was my way of protecting myself. Wishing you the best and hope that you will not need to worry about Plan B.
ReplyDeleteMe too, Leslie! Thanks!
DeleteEverything you just posted, I so get. Ditto!!!!! Did you peak into my life? Prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! No, but I will go visit your blog and do just that!
DeleteWe are mirroring each other symptoms and complaints on this FET cycle. It's so weird but refreshing to know that I'm not alone. I just got off the phone with a friend who was asking me how many attempts I'm willing to put myself through, and I have so much difficulty answering that question. The number 3 has also been thrown around between hubby & I. It's just so difficult to know!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, sister. All of it.
DeleteI think FETs are harder, actually. During fresh cycles you have a lot more going on and you see your doctor every few days. FETs, though, are sort of "fly by the seat of your pants" and just seem... out of control. At least to me. I'm thinking about you and very much hope the sad moves on quickly. Take a photo or two today. I promise it will help lighten your mood. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm gunna work on the photos tomorrow. Thanks, friend.
DeleteSo with you on everything. And you just made me realize that maybe this subdued, removed feeling I've been having is also connected with the estrogen! For some reason I just assumed it was psychological. We'll get through this. This too shall pass. I want my body back too.
ReplyDeleteI hope one day I can stop hating the damned thing!
DeleteYou are the second person within last few days who is suffering from the estrogen pills. I am so sorry you are going through this. Just know I am thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you more, girl. Mean it.
Delete(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteRight back at ya. :)
DeleteHaving never done a FET cycle (no frosties first time around, or we definitely would have!) I can only try to get the frustration - but this estrogen stuff sounds like nasty business.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! x
Thanks, Aly. Love ya!
Delete100%...My fet sucked more than the fresh!!!
ReplyDeleteThere's less actual drama, but the drugs seem to make me find lots of made up drama... which is making it suck a whole lot! I'm with ya!
Deletehello! nice to *meet* you via ICLW... So normal (I think, without knowing really) to feel really blah at this stage. Both from the hormones and I think just from the slog. I think it's important to try somehow to do something nice for yourself no matter how low the bar is - pedicure? favorite crap television show? hot chocolate?
ReplyDeletegood luck to you
I found my FET to be just as stressful as a fresh-cycle, so yes "everyone" is stupid :)
ReplyDeleteI know DH and I kept moving the line, at first it was one cycle because we really thought it would work. When it didn't, we of course decided to do another. I think we've reached a stopping point, but we are struggling with not using our 2 frosties. I hope your FET goes great!
I'm afraid to think about what happens if we get to our last cycle and what to do after that. I can't imagine stopping this journey of trying to have our own biological child but, like you said, I want my life and my body back.
ReplyDeleteHa, I so agree on this. It's really stressful for many reasons and I'm not taking any drugs since going for a natural cycle. Can't run away from it I guess.
ReplyDeleteAnd I relate to the sentiment of wanting a time line for when enough is enough. I hope you figure something out that feels ok for you both in the end. Hopefully it won't be needed though!