It feels like the stages of grief keep cycling themselves round and round when it comes to IF. Denial has been a toughie for me. It's such a powerful state of mind. I find myself constantly pushing out the thought that none of this is real. A part of me is always trying to convince my brain that I'm over reacting. That if I would just "relax" and stop with this treatment I'd be pregnant no problem. That same little voice is what keeps me fearful that I'll end up being Octomom because really, there's nothing wrong with me, my uterus, or my eggs.
Denial finally seems to have taken a back seat this go around. This time, I know that there is something wrong with me. A surgeon or three saw it up close and personal. A pathologist tested it and categorized it. An embryologist saw what it did to my eggs and embryos. This time, there is no running from the truth.
It's freeing and frightening all at the same time.
I was also diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Besides having a ridge and fibroid removed there is no reason for not getting pregnant. I was looking at your ivf #1 & it seems that we had a similar cycle. I also had alot of follicles but only two decent embryos. Wishing you best of luck this go around and I'm only few weeks behind! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Toni, I remember looking at your story and thinking the same thing. Have you had a lap? I'm a big fan of the laps. I'm hoping that and the actual endo diagnosis makes a difference in our treatment. I'm keeping an eye on your journey! Best wishes!
DeleteYes--but. Hopefully the very real thing that was ailing you is all better now, and you will get pregnant. This will work. Fingers crossed for you!
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