I'm going to come out and say it. It's a controversial topic to be sure, but I need to speak out. It's in the interest of all the short women out there. We're tired of dealing with the quite literal crap thrown our way by the long legged of you out there. It's time to fight back.
Ladies, just sit the hell down on the toilet seat.
Those of us who are of the vertically challenged persuasian cannot hover or squat above a seat. See, when I sit down on most seats, including those attached to a public toilet, my feet don't touch the ground. Hence, there is no way that I can perch my bottom above the comode and have good aim at the same time. I need to sit. There is no choice. Since so many of you Too Tall Taras feel the need to keep your tushies in the hover position, those of us without the gift of height are faced with a dilemma. What to do with the pee you sprayed all over the seat while being so prim and propper. Do we wipe it off? No. Then we have your piss on our hands. Do we put TP down in an effort to block the offending moisture? Not unless sitting on mushy pee is more appealing. So we are forced to leave the stall, hope the next one over is better, and leave the pee cleanup to the poor sap behind us.
See ladies, toilet seats are really rather clean when you aren't peeing on them. They are cleaner than the air being blown out of the air dryer and all over your hands. They are probably cleaner than the mouse you used to click on this post. So please, for the love of all that it good and holy, just sit your ass down. A short girl will be forever grateful.
July 10, 2012
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Hahahaha, love it. I am a no nonsense, sit on the seat kind of girl. And I'm tall. Sitters unite!
ReplyDeleteI'm a sitter, and I'm tall. I always just thought I was lazy. Now I know I am being lazy for the good of short girls everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI'm short and I say thank you for speaking up for us!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Lisa, this is hilarious! Despite being tall and having long legs I'm a sitter thanks to some funky hip joint stuff. I absolutely despise the hovering women who leave their pee behind. In the words of my mom, "If you sprinkle while you tinkle be a sweetie wipe the seatie." :)
ReplyDeleteSOOOOOOooooo true. I end up wadding up a HUGE amount of TP in order to wipe down the seat so I don't touch pee or even come in close contact with it. Then I also put down a layer or two of TP on the seat itself, because it just had pee on it and has not been cleaned. BLEH. But what else can you do... it's not always an option to find another, cleaner stall! :(
ReplyDeleteShorties everywhere are thanking you for your PSA :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not really tall st 5'5", buy I have uber long legs and face the shame and embarrassment that comes with pulling out toilet seat covers. Everyone knows I'm about to sit my ass down! I'm just lazy. I don't want to feel the burn in my quads from just peeing. So I pull out 3 covers and load up the toilet seat. Whew. Thanks for this. I feel liberated and will think of you the next time I sit on a public toilet! Haha
ReplyDeleteYes! The reason toilet seats are dirty is the people who hover above them and pee all over them. If they just sat their ass down, there wouldn't be any problems.
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Haha I'm 5'8 and have always sat...never realized pee got all over the seat from people squatting and not sitting (dumb blonde moment I know). I love the toilet seat covers, but I have to admit you're making me think about where I put my naked ass and what has been there before me haha...thanks for the laugh :)
ReplyDeleteI always sit too and I'm tall. I hate it when there is piss all over the toilet! Don't people like to sit and relax when they pee?!
ReplyDeleteI'm 5'10'' and don't have the patience or muscle to hover. I sit like it's my job and now I'll feel even better about it. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAmen! From one shortie to another.
ReplyDelete