October 30, 2012
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
We were really anxious about our WTF appointment today. We were so worried that he’d say, “We have no idea why you aren’t pregnant, but if you just keep trying I’m sure it will eventually work. “ That would not be something we were looking forward to hearing. We want to look towards the end of this roller coaster. If there’s nothing else to try, we want to know it. None of this, “just keep trying” hanging over our heads for the rest of our lives.
Dr. Awesome started off by saying that he was really disappointed and that their whole team felt confident that they’d found a solution for us in our FET cycle. He said he went back over my records to see if there was anything that could have been missed and he couldn’t come up with anything. I ovulate. My FSH is a little high, but my AMH and AFC are great and I respond really well. My tubes are open. My uterus looks healthy on hysteroscopy. I don’t have any adhesions or scar tissue in my pelvis. I’m relatively young in infertility land.
I brought up everything I could think of. I’m sure I sounded like a babbling idiot. I mentioned the auto-immune response I had from LASIK. I brought up the really bad (I mean really bad) mono that resulted in hepatitis when I was 15. I asked if my well controlled B12 deficiency could be at play. The nice doctor humored the crazy lady.
The fact of the matter is, the only thing we know I have is endometriosis.
He thinks I’m one of the small subset of women with endo that is affected on a cellular level and my egg quality is suffering from it. This would explain our poor fertilization and need for ICSI as well. So what he wants to do is a 3 month Lupron course to put any endo that may be lingering into a dormant state. We’d then go straight into a fresh IVF cycle. That way, none of the eggs I would make in the fresh cycle would have ever been exposed to any endo. Oh, and no “add-back” therapy as long as I can stand it. My husband has decided that since I will be in “menopause” he should be entitled to a mid-life crisis. I think not.
We’ll also be adding some LH in with stims as well to see if that helps.
This is where I opened my big mouth. I asked if there should be any supplements I should be taking or diet changes I should make while we have 3 months to work with. Time to bring up the elephant in the room! When we started this road, I was just inside the normal weight range. After 3 IUIs, 2 IVFs, 1 FET and a lap I am smack in the middle of overweight land. So Dr. Awesome recommended getting myself back down to a BMI under 25. Being a man, he thought this should be no problem!
So I have 3 months to lose 17 pounds. While on Lupron. During the holidays. Might as well put me in handcuffs, light me on fire, and charge admission while you’re at it, doc! But I will do it, dammit. You know why? Because this is our last shot and weight is the only thing I can control in this mess. If this fails, I don’t want to look back and wonder if losing weight would have made the difference. So I will go back to my nutritionist’s totally depressing eating plan. I will get my ass on the treadmill. I will do all the meal prep and planning ahead needed to get though the next three months, including the holidays.
Bring on the salads.
Labels:
doctor visit,
endometriosis,
ivf,
weight
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My sister in microscope endo, weird mono incident and having to lose a gajillion pounds in a few months.
ReplyDeleteYou know, one day they're going to find some really stupid common thread we all have like swallowing too much toothpaste when we were little.
I'm so glad that your doctor was so detailed with you! It sounds like a really great plan. I laughed out loud when you talked about losing weight during the holidays : ). You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI can be your workout online buddy! We can keep each other in check. ;-) xoxo
ReplyDeleteOH...I was so ready to get on that train to get in better shape and lose a few pounds....and the only thing that has resulted from this...I have gained 5 pounds... so what started out as losing between 8-10 pounds in a few months has now turned into losing at least 15 and preventing any further weight from being put on....and what is tomorrow? yep Halloween..shoot me...shoot me now...at least this year I waited until today to buy any candy for handing out and I have yet to open it...ironically the bag of my favorite candy bars wouldn't scan so I told the check out lady to forget it...maybe this is a good sign of good choices....or maybe it was just a wacky barcode.
ReplyDeleteGOOD LUCK! I think it's great the RE is working so well with you and laying everything out for you. I hope the 3 month break works for you...fingers crossed :)
ugh. worst. I was crazy weight watchers-ing this year for a similar reason. It's so hard to do when you're doing all the treatments and already feeling like crap... But you're awesome and I have ever confidence you'll get it done.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you guys are going to be moving forward and that there is a new plan. It sounds like you're in really great hands with your RE. The weight loss will be tough but entirely possible - I know you can do it!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that you have a plan for now. Might not be the most fun plan ever (especially during the holidays) but at least it gives you some control to feel like you are doing something. And at least you won't be trying to do the fresh cycle in the middle of the holidays. Wishing you the best of luck with the exercise/diet planning!
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about trying the Endo diet? I'm not sticking to it fully as for me the ingredients out there for it aren't all that plentiful but coconut oil does help to speed up the metabolism.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you have a plan that sounds really good and really optimistic! I have total faith you will lose that weight. just imagine entering your next IVF 20lbs down, looking hot and feeling good :)
ReplyDeleteThis all sounds like an amazing plan... Focusing on what you can control like weight and health is so key... And having an emotional break will do the world of good too, I promise!
ReplyDeleteI recently found your blog. I too am looking at a 3-4 month "hold" before we head into our next cycle. I'll be following along with you. In them meantime, I nominated you for a Liebster Award :) You can find out more info here: http://www.bakeonebuyone.com/2012/11/liebstera-little-late.html
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad there's still hope and a new plan for you! Losing weight during the holidays is going to suck, but I know you can do it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck - 17lb is a lot for 3 months! I recommend giving yourself cheat days (namely, Thanksgiving and Christmas!) so that you can enjoy at least those holidays and whatever usual things you eat. It's just two days out of 3 months - and you can look forward do those days, like a reason not to cheat on other days (there's only 3 weeks until Thanksgiving after all!). Anyway, you cando it, you are totally motivated and awesome :) :)
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