Why My New RE Is Awesome

A nurse called yesterday to give us the results and told us to schedule a WTF.  Later that morning I was with a patient and saw my phone light up with the clinic's number.  Dang it!  About 30 minutes later my husband's face appeared on my phone.  Double dang it!  He never calls my cell at work because he knows I keep my ringer off (I have a fear that I will turn on a kid's implant for the first time right when my phone rings and my ringer will become the first sound they hear).  As soon as my kiddo left I called J back.

He said that Dr. Awesome called him after he couldn't get in touch with me and sounded almost upset when relaying his reaction to our negative beta.  He was really hopeful that we would have a positive since everything went so well in the lab.  He thought the addition of HCG to the medium and the additions of Medrol and baby asprin to the regimen would do the trick.  Dr. Awesome didn't have any brilliant ideas right off the bat, but he promised to comb through the records from the old clinic, look at the cycle sheets from round 1 and round 2 and see if there is anything he would do differently.  He couldn't promise that there was since I stimmed so well both times and made seemingly good embies on round two, three of which cultured to blast for our FET.  J pointed out that 6 embies have now been transferred, 4 of which were certified as dang good, so could there be an implantation issue?  Dr. Awesome was honest in reporting that we don't really know and probably never will.  My ute looked good on hysteroscopy and we treated the questionable endometritis aggressively.  There's also still a question of embryo "goodness."  As we all know, looking good under the microscope doesn't really mean much in the end.

I can appreciate that so much of what happens with implantation is crazy complex.  Hearing is the same way.  Believe it or not, there is a lot we don't know about the function of the ear and most of the time I can't tell a family why their child is deaf.  It's just too complicated to know.  Too many genes involved, cells, vasculature, ion exchanges, mechanical and chemical reactions.  I'm sure implantation is a similarly complex.  It's just so frustrating to not have answers and to not have something to "fix."  We've tested negative for MFI, clotting disorders, PCOS, thyroid issues, STDs, tubal issues, parvo... wait, that was the dog.

I'm really grateful that he called, and even more grateful that J and I are open enough with each other that he was able to ask all the questions I would have been able to come up with in such a state.  I'm glad that Dr. Awesome is honest with us and that he's willing to dig around to see if there is anything he can do for us.  In the meantime, I'll wait for our WTF and gather my thoughts.  If he can't think of something new to try, we probably won't do another fresh.  If he can, we probably will after the new year.  I'm nervous about taking a few months off because I know that our biggest benefit right now is riding the wings of a recent lap.  I also know that that magic 35th birthday is looming oh so closely.  I just don't want to attempt an IVF cycle over the holidays, we're plumb out of dough, and I need to get some weight off.  Until then, I'm going to be healthy and try to turn my body into something I can at least tolerate for the time being.  I'll work on actually liking it when this is all over, I suppose.