Last night, we went out to dinner and after we finished, the waitress asked if we'd saved room for dessert. We said no and I added, "We've had enough dessert the last few days to last us awhile." She didn't laugh, just paused and then said, "My mind is so dirty I took that completely the wrong way."
Well that's a stretch, pervy waitress.
Ah, if she only knew.
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I decided awhile back that Mr. Right and I needed a "thing." You know, a hobby that we do together. We both have varied intrests, but not really one that we share. We tried running, and we still do run, but we both despise doing it, so that doesn't count. He was a big tennis player back in the day. I failed tennis lessons as a child and was asked not to return because I was so bad. But he thought he could rehabilitate me, and so we attempted to make that our "thing." Today was lesson number 2. After I spent a good 10 minutes pouting around the court, this is how it ended.
Me: "I hate tennis."
Him: "But you're cute when you pout."
Me: "I don't like doing things I'm bad at. I suck at running, I suck at making babies, and I suck at tennis."
Him: "Come on now, or I'm going to pop you in the nose."
Me: "I'm good at breaking my nose. You should do it."
So tennis is not going to be our thing. We went on a long walk with the mutt and after I tried popping the "It's A Boy" balloons we encountered on the way, he asked me why I thought we needed to have a thing. I didn't really know. I just thought we should. After we talked it out more, I said "Well, I guess I just thought that raising a family would be our thing and since we don't have that..." He stopped and said, "I don't think you're really concerned with having a thing. I think what you're really doing is trying to find a substitute for us for what we really truly want and that's not going to happen."
The bastard is right. Again. (Don't tell him I said that.)
So how do you fill your time constructively in order to stay busy while going through all of this crap? I could bury myself in work. That's what I used to do when I was single, but I'd rather share my time with my hubby. I could also eat. I'm very good at stress eating and I like to do things I'm good at. I'm also good at getting fat, so that's a problem. I'd love to hear what y'all do.
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My DH and I don't really have a thing like you describe--a hobby that we're both into. We do things together, but we also do things separately. For a while, I wanted us to do certain things together, but recently I've begun to realize that we do enjoy our time together, it's just not always the kind of together time I envisioned based on what I saw my parents doing.
ReplyDeleteBut that's just us. :-) So I wouldn't worry too much about having a hobby to do together. Just enjoy each other's company when you're both in a good mood.
I think Mr. Right hit it on the head. I actually said to my husband once, "We need a mutual hobby so we won't look sad in case we never have a baby!!!" which he wisely rolled his eyes at. My favorite hobby is cooking, but as you said, it can lead to some problems.
ReplyDeleteAhh yes, picking a thing is a very normal response to our shitty situations! I figured out the other day that my response to IF was to buy a new house, one that I'm not all that crazy about now since I bought it to heal my broken heart. Oh well, I figure I'll like it more once there is actually a baby in the nursery...
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