The Lap Story

The day before surgery, I got a call from the anesthesiologist.  Apparently they just do a phone screen for the young and healthy.  He was really nice and answered all of my questions.  He said that my blood work was all negative, and "unfortunately so was the pregnancy test."  I kind of chuckled and said that the last test was only a week-and-a-half ago, so I couldn't say I was surprised.  He said, "Well, it always hurts to hear it.  I don't tell many people this, but my wife and I were there at the same clinic and we now have two children.  So you're in good hands."  I thought that was so nice of him.

Surgery was scheduled for 8:45 and we were required to be there at 7:15.  We checked in and they took me back to the prep area.  After I changed into my beautiful gown, they took my vitals, got my IV started, and brought J back to sit with me.  My RE came back and gave us his post op instructions and what he expected would happen in surgery.  Then they gave me some Versed and back we went.  I was a little loopy, but managed to get myself situated on the table, which seemed to have some sort of butt cut out on it?  I don't know.  I just know I was trying to put my but near, but not in a hole.  They put my arms by my sides in some styrofoamy things, and that's all I remember.

Next thing I remember was hearing a nurse call out to the nurse's station "where's Mylastname?"  and I chirped, "right here."  Then my husband's shiny face was there in my recovery hole.  He told me what the RE told him.  That there was a lot of endo.  It was on my ovaries, bladder, rectum, and pelvic wall.  They lasered some and excised others.  He staged it at 2 since most of it was superficial, but that there was a lot and it would account for my pain.  The hysteroscopy looked good.  They took a biopsy, but there were no polyps, adhesions, or fibroids.  Surgery took about 2 and-a-half hours.

I wasn't in much pain in the recovery room, but I was a bit nauseous.  She gave me something and POOF it was gone.  I was so tired, but apparently they really want you out of there.  What was weird on the way out what that the nurse was wheeling me to the car in a wheel chair and chatting and someone came hurrying up behind her, put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Bye Dr. Mylastname!  Take care!"  I just said "thanks," but couldn't see who it was.  The nurse pushing me said,  "You're a doctor?"  I skipped my whole, "I'm not a physician.  It's a clinical degree.  Kind of like an optometrist." spiel and just said "yeah."  She said, "I should have known from your shoes."  I had my clogs on.  But I don't know who came up behind me and it kind of freaked me out.  I know there was nothing "doctoresque" on my intake paperwork.  I was in a hospital that we kind of "compete" with and I didn't want to fall on anyone's radar.

I slept most of yesterday.  The first pee hurt like nobody's business.  I've been in quite a bit of pain, especially my throat.  I wasn't allowed to eat solid food yesterday and I still haven't pooped.  That freaks me out.  Once I'm in a position, I feel fine, but sitting up, lying down, basically moving into a position hurts.  I have not had any of that shoulder pain, thankfully.  Really really thankful for that.  My husband has been a saint.  I feel like such a schmo asking him to do so much for me.  I had to wake him repeatedly so that I could get help getting up to pee.  Whenever I stand I feel like my innards are just hanging there.  Like there's nothing to support them.  It's weird.  And they are super pissed that there were lasers thrown at them.

I'm glad we have a diagnosis, I'm glad I'm not a hypochondriac, and I'm glad it was mostly superficial.  I hate that there is anything wrong with me, but I'm glad to finally have some sort of confirmation.  Post op is in two weeks and we'll see where to go next.

I hope that colase kicks in soon!  There really is no such thing as TMI in an IF blog, is there?