Today, I was thinking about my person. You know who your person is right? You all watch Gray's Anatomy I'm sure, at least you did before it got weird. Your person is your go to person. When things are shitty, it's the person you call to vent to and cry to. He/she is your emotional stronghold. Your person gets you.
I'm sure we all have infertility versions of our persons. While my husband is an amazing support, he's going through all of this too and sometimes I just need a chick. In the ALI community, your person is the person you actually talk to about your cervical mucous... and she really gives a flying fart.
I have the best person a girl could hope for. Let's call her Farrah. We've always been good friends, but we live very far apart which always makes it harder. When we started going to the RE, she was the first person I thought to call. I knew that she would listen, I knew should would not judge, I knew she would be compassionate, I knew she would not dole out advice, I knew she give a flying fart. Farrah has been all that and more. She listens, she checks up on me, she learns things about treatment just because she cares. I can call her with any whine or moan and she will set aside her own worries and concerns just to listen to me. She still finds time for me even though she's working full time traveling all around her state, and raising three gorgeous, smart, witty munchkins. I am so lucky to have Farrah in my life.
So I want to hear about your person. Who is the girl (or guy) you go to when things just aren't working. Who is the first person (besides your hubby) you will call when you get that BPF? Who is your person?
January 14, 2012
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That's so great that you have Farrah.
ReplyDeleteI don't have one person, but I do have three, who, together, fill that void. I have my mom, who is great, but some things are TMI to tell her. And I have two IRL local friends who have both delt with some combination of IF and loss. Both have kids now, but they get what I'm going through, because they've had their own journeys.
I'm pretty open about our infertility, so there are several people I can talk to, in general terms, about our struggles and treatment. But I have one friend in particular who always asks about how we're doing and where we are in our treatment. I so appreciate her concern, especially because she has her own kids and hasn't experienced infertility herself.
ReplyDeleteI'm wide open about my infertility as well, so I sort of have a couple of part-time people and one tell everything to person. My everything person is my vet. She has PCOS as well, went through three IVFs and finally had a baby and adopted another one as well. It is so helpful to have someone that completely understands the situation I'm in. She understands the feelings, reactions to other people, everything. I'm not sure if I could stay sane without her. Also, cheap cat care is helpful since one of our cats is the equivalent of the money pit.
ReplyDeleteI have a few people, but really I rely on you guys to be my person!
ReplyDeleteI also have a couple of people. One if my mother-in-law. It sounds weird, but she is the most understanding and patient person and she listens and empathesizes with me. My own mom doesn't get it, so she did not make the list.
ReplyDeleteThe second person is a former co-worker who lives 10 hours away, but she is also my IF buddy. She and I both started TTC at the same time and realized that we were both dealing with infertility around the same time. We share everything from cervical mucus and period symptoms to treatment plans.
The third person is a local friend who never had an issue with IF, but completely understands. She is the mother to my Godson and she gets it when I am feeling depressed or upset.
If it wasn't for these 3 people, I wouldn't be sane.
the girl i was assigned to guard at my first basketball practice back in 94:) She has been like a sister ever since. She was there for my surgery when I was only 19. She's listened. She's cried with me.
ReplyDeleteAnd then the worse happened, I got to do the same for her as she lost baby after baby after baby.
She is the type who will hear my crying in the shower, and barge in and sit on the floor and just be there. She'll call me long distance. She keeps me in her life and manages that with her wonderful children in a way that only makes me thrilled (and not sad that I have never ever been pregnant and probably lost my fertility before my virginity). And day by day, we get by -- and sometimes we thrive. what more can you ask for I guess.. So glad you have your Farrah. Its a gift:) I enjoyed hearing about her.
I love hearing these stories! Sometimes we need a little reminder about the positives.
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