An Love/Hate Ode to Facebook

Can you have a love/hate ode?  I'm not even sure.  I was too busy passing notes in English class to notice.

I know a lot of women in our illustrious club really get angry about Facebook.  I'm not really one of those people.  To me, it hasn't been that big of a deal.  If someone is super verbose about their pregnancy or their kid, I hide their feeds.  No biggie.  They're sharing their joy and have every right to do so.  They aren't on some sort of personal vendetta against infertile women. They aren't trying to rub things in our faces even if it feels like it sometimes.  They are sharing - that's what Facebook is all about.  Ever since this whole timeline thing, though, things have gotten out of whack and there is a crimp in my plan.  Now, I have friends comment on a sonogram of someone who is a total stranger to me and that total stranger's sonogram is suddenly all up in my feed.  Ummm, not a fan of that.

A friend of mine had a baby a couple of months ago.  I hadn't been a very good friend and kept up with her during her pregnancy, but I emailed her about it and was totally honest.  I told her I was flat out jealous and I knew it was completely unfounded, but it was really hard for me.  She was totally understanding and great.  I hid her feed on Facebook because as adorable as her little man is, I couldn't handle being bombarded by his photo every 7 minutes.  I toughed out the registry (which wasn't as painful as I thought) and sent him a gift.  Today she posted a photo of him with one of the gifts and tagged J and I in it.  It was sweet and I was happy to see that he liked it.  Didn't mind it at all.  I posted that I was glad he liked it.  What I DID mind were minute by minute comments I then received notifications about.  Some were just "He's so cute," which is fine.  Others were more along the lines of "Isn't motherhood wonderful?"  Those were not so great. But it get's better...

So I was tagged in this photo and then commented that I was glad he liked it.  You got that, right?  Obviously, this was a gift from a person with my name.  Some smug pregnant woman (noted by the ultrasound profile photo) posted AFTER my post that my friend needs to be really careful about it because it should have been recalled.  She said he could choke himself or damage the back of his throat.  Now, I know I'm really hypersensitive, so it was probably good that I didn't give in to my urge to type, "Sorry!  I didn't mean to try to kill your kid.  Maybe it's a good thing that God won't give me one."  But even if I weren't infertile, is this not just rude? She could have sent her a damned email if she was really concerned. right?  Or was this more of a "I'm the bestest woman in the world!  Look at me procreating!  Look at me saving small infants from lethal teething toys!  I am so the bestest!" kind of thing?

Now I know my friend, and she probably rolled her eyes while typing her a "thanks for the info" reply.  Farrah chimed in and said that her kid loved hers so that softened things.  I know I'm probably totally over-reacting, but it bugged the SHIT out of me.  I don't want to take my profile down because I really do like keeping up with people through Facebook.  I live 1000 miles away from my family and my friends are all over the place.  I love how it keeps me in touch with all of them, but I HATE how I let it torture me!!!

I love you I hate you I love you I hate you