It's been a shitty couple of days. Today just made it worse.
One of my families brought their 1 year old hapa baby in today. I
hadn't met her yet. This mom and I talk a lot about being married to
Asian men and I really like her. I was psyched to meet her little one,
but man it hit me hard. She was so freakin' adorable. Smiley and
happy. She actually had blond hair and blue eyes! I had to get my shit
together in the bathroom. I did not cry. I was proud of myself for
that.
Ultrasound was this morning. I have one lonely follicle to work with this month. If I couldn't get pregnant with five, I doubt I'll get pregnant with one. I can ovulate one without the shots, thank you very much.
With this whole FSH crap, I kept holding on to the fact that I respond well to stims. Scratch that! My body totally changed it's mind! I had an AMH drawn today and the RE wants to move on to "something more aggressive" if this month doesn't work. Let's face it - it ain't gunna work. I'm assuming "something more aggressive" means IVF because I don't want to screw around with a totally injectable cycle. I'm already on Menopur and Femara. Triggering tonight. IUI is scheduled for Friday.
Thanks for all of your positive thoughts on the FSH front. It was good to hear success stories. Right now I'm just wallowing in self pity. I'm sure I'll get out of it. I was just holding on to a lot of hope and I feel like it's been taken down a notch or two. So I apologize for my lack of commenting. I'm just... blah.
February 29, 2012
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Hapa babies are the cutest. I would have a hard time too. Today has been such a crappy day for me too. I hope this cycle will bring you a BFP!
ReplyDeleteSorry that you're feeling down. One follie can still do the trick! I'm hoping for a hapa baby too. Having my first IUI tomorrow... let's hope this is our month!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your IUI this cycle, try not to give up hope yet, all you need is one good one!
ReplyDeleteSorry it's been such a rough day. Hopefully one is enough. Good luck on Friday!
ReplyDelete:( That does sound like a hard visit.
ReplyDeleteUgh the whole process can be so frustrating and disappointing. But - you do have one! Even if it's only one. Good luck this cycle, and I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure hope will come sneaking back, it always seems to find its way back in.
Ugh, sorry to hear about the bad day and hard visit. I'm on a journey for a hapa baby as well, and seeing ridiculously adorable hapa babies all around doesn't make things any easier. Hope your day is better tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the challenges facing you right now and praying that this is the cycle for you, even with only one.
ReplyDeleteComing over to give you a big hug! Hope that even if it's just one that it is the right one for you this cycle.
ReplyDelete