The inter-racial issue rarely comes into play in our lives. There is the occasional weird comment, but they are usually just silly. The only thing that really annoys me is going to our favorite, closed-minded, bigoted chicken sandwich place. In every fast food joint in the world it goes something like this: Husband and I reach the counter, standing side-by-side. Typically his hand is on the small of my back because he likes to stand that way. The cashier looks at us expectantly, I look to J, he says, "Go ahead, babe," and I place my order. The cashier then looks expectantly at J, he places his order. They ask, "Is that all for you today?" and we get the total. Not at Chick-fil-a. Every freakin' time they give me my total before J has a chance to get a waffle fry in edge-wise. It's as if the man touching me with a wedding band on can't POSSIBLY be ordering with me what with his Asian-ness and all. We just don't fit into their neat little box.
Apparently, Chipmunk doesn't fit into any boxes and s/he doesn't even have a fingerprint yet. We had to pre-register with hospital for the delivery. I agree, it seems completely ridiculous to do this so early on, but I'm following the directions from my OB. I was on the website, plugging through all the boxes. Mother's name, father's name, mother's maiden name, mother's mother's maiden name, mother's race, father's race. There it was. "Ethnicity of newborn." There weren't many choices. Asian, Hispanic, Caucasian, African-American... I was stuck. I'm sure Chipmunk will look Asian, but s/he is Caucasian also. Do I discount one part of him/her with a click of my mouse? No way. I looked at J and we both said the same thing at the same time.
Other.
We chose the last item from the drop down menu.
It left me thinking, why does it matter? Is this a battle my child will have to face for eternity? Don't we live in a melting pot? Isn't there supposed to be some sort of revolution soon where mixed race individuals are becoming the largest minority? So why doesn't my child get a drop down box? Why doesn't s/he get to choose how to describe his/her ethnicity? Why does the birth certificate get to define such an important piece of an identity with limited wiggle room?
Ah, America. Land of diversity and restrictive little boxes.
May 8, 2013
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That's frustrating. I understand they want demographic information, but why only allow for one box to be checked?
ReplyDeleteI'm mixed race (asian, hispanic, polynesian and white). The thing that annoys me most is when they give you boxes and it says "Check one only". I always either check all the boxes or other. Stupid boxes.
ReplyDeleteThis really ticked me off the first time around. DH is a hapa so he always marked other. I am seeing the option to mark more than one box now though my kids look completely white so people only get confused when they see their Dad is obviously not white. It really depends on where you live. In Metrowest Boston area there are a ton of hapas and it is more accepted. We had some uncomfortable situations in the south in the past though.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the job applications that I have seen lately have some sort of "mixed" option. Hopefully that is a sign of moving in the right direction!
ReplyDeleteThat is so frustrating. No one fits into a tidy litte box! But I hope your child will be growing up in a progressive-enough time that it won't matter much except on those rare, mind-numbingly stupid occasions. On forms that were obviously created by old white dudes.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just the US, the UK is possibly worse! I hate these forms for that reason. I myself could tick three or four given boxes for any categories they happen to have arbitrarily created on that day, and I'd like to think my future kids (whether they come biologically or via adoption) might also exceed their stupid pigeon holes. I usually tick a bunch just to mess with them (because honestly, I work with demographics a lot and even for us those kinds of rigid columns are not useful research-wise), but I realise online forms might not give you that option. But I say: WOOHOO 'OTHERS'! We are the future :)
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is biracial and he struggles with that section on forms too. He hates it. He usually chooses other then writes in his exact ethnicity. Now Turtle will have it even more complicated. It shouldn't matter at all and I don't understand why we still need to ask this. But ps. really glad to hear all is looking okay with your pregnancy right now and you've landed successfully into the non-sick portion of the second trimester. Enjoy the next few months and try to get as much done as possible! For me the best part of pregnancy was 20-30 weeks. :)
ReplyDeleteI've been considering the same thing, if TTC works for us. R is Japanese and our donor is Chinese. I am the standard European mix. What will we mark? I'm honestly not sure.
ReplyDeleteAs a NICU nurse, there is a reason for knowing the ethnicity. It has to do with state testing as some ethnicities are known for certain inheritable disease for example African American and Sickle Cell. I'm surprised though you could only check on box. I know in my hospital there are often 2-3 boxes checked. Interesting. I'm impressed you already registered. I actually walked into the hospital with my pre-registration form. I filled it out really early, but I never turned it in :)
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