Blissed Out

I sit here watching my husband try to lull an overtired Chipmunk to sleep.  It's after 7 PM and I'm still in my pajamas... the ones I wore to bed last night.  I have inconveniently placed milk stains on my shirt and my hair makes a rat's nest look like an HGTV worthy abode.  I have never been happier in my whole life.

I find myself in that strange place many members of our community find themselves it.  The infertility journey is different now.  I've found my "resolution."  I will always have infertility and this journey has forever changed me, but I am no longer pursuing a pregnancy.  It's not that there's nothing to talk about, but the focus is different.  No more needles and no more drugs, just us, a baby, and reflections.

When I was in the trenches I remember that there were some blogs I stopped following when they brought their children home.  I also remember why.  They were blogs that went from talking about their treatment to whining about their children, lack of sleep, and sore nipples.  Yes, parenthood is hard, but we all know that.  We've been informed of that fact by fertile people forever.  The blogs I loved following after resolution were the ones who shared their peace and joy.  So that's what I intend to do.

This little goober has taken my heart to a place I didn't know it could go.  Loving my husband comes with an element of choice.  With the Chipmunk, it's primal.  It is the most beautiful and the most terrifying thing I have ever felt.  There is nothing more I want in this world right now than to keep her healthy and put her on a promising life path.  And hug her.  No it's more than a want to hug her, I want to just envelop her and cover her in love.  I'm so grateful and when I look at her and think about what a miracle she is, that thankfulness takes my breath away.

When you are bending over for yet another PIO injection, remember that there will be an end to all of this and it is worth it.  When you are waiting in agony to be chosen by a birth mother, remember that there will be an end and you will find joy.  If you are feeling that you no longer want to pursue treatment and plan to find peace in childless living, remember that there will be an end and you will find that peace.  I've seen it happen countless times in this community.  No matter where your path leads, it will get better.